Brother butts in

June 13, 2018 - storage organizer

Dear Annie: we am feeling so desperate, indignant and frustrated. we understanding with depression, and my hermit is positively not assisting matters. we am 65. we can't do a lot of lifting since of behind problems, so we wait for my grandkids to come and assistance me when they can, that is not so mostly as I’d like.

My hermit thinks we am a hoarder. He tells me that we have obsessive-compulsive commotion and that we need to understanding with my problems. My hermit is an alcoholic yet does go to Alcoholics Anonymous and has not imbibed for over 20 years. Every time we get together, he is bold and spiteful and will not stop a review when we tell him that he is not my advisor and that my issues are my business and not his.

I do not feel that I’m a hoarder by any means. we will acknowledge that we have amassed things over a years and that this has gotten out of hand, yet my home is not dirty or toxic. My downstairs area is not permitted during this time since we have been classification by my things. we have taken several bags to The Salvation Army. we have thrown many things away. And some of a equipment I’ve kept will be set adult for a rummage sale this summer. If these equipment do not sell, they are going. This is not good adequate for my brother.

I was going to my possess counselor, yet she late during a finish of April. She was awestruck with some of a things that my hermit has pronounced and done. Now he wants us to go to counseling. The problem is that I’m so sleepy of his abuse that we only don’t wish to be around him anymore. My hermit has no judgment of what personal bounds are. What is your response to all of this? — Want Peace Back in My Life

Dear Want Peace: You are right that these are your issues, not your brother’s. He competence be perplexing to help, yet forcing his chronicle of assistance on we clearly isn’t assisting anyone. The good news is that it doesn’t matter too most if he has no judgment of personal boundaries, since a chairman who sets your bounds is you. You get to confirm how mostly we speak to your hermit and how many of his comments we take to heart. Peace is within your power.

That being said, it does sound as yet confusion is removing in a approach of your life. Your equipment have rendered a building of your residence inaccessible, and we acknowledge that it’s gotten out of hand. If we have a enterprise to residence that issue, we don’t have to wait until your children or grandchildren come by to help. Consider employing a personal organizer or comparison pierce manager to arrange out your effects and pierce things into storage. You can also call a junk dismissal use for a equipment we have no use for.

Even some-more critical than addressing your clutter, however, is treating and handling your depression. Your therapist should have referred we to someone else when she retired. Follow adult with her for some names. If we can’t get in hold with her, a American Psychological Association offers a clergyman locator apparatus on the website. Psychology Today offers a identical tool:

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s entrance book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and practice — is accessible as a paperback and e-book. Visit for some-more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to

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